So it's time again to figure out what my New Years Resolution is going to be, and I hate doing this because I never follow through. I just think of something, anything- so when people ask me I have the correct answer for them. I don't know why but when people ask me this question and I say," I'm not sure I haven't really thought about it," I always have felt stupid. Everyone else has been thinking about it, why haven't I? So then I start thinking of all the things I should say and think to myself, yeah right I'll never do that, but it sounds good.Then I think, if I'm really honest with people and say, "I'm going to try and stop thinking I have to Prove myself to my friends and family, I have to have Faith in their Love, and I need to Stop Doubting myself." I think people would just walk away and think I have issues, and maybe I do, but it's the truth. So this is why I hate that question and I'll most likely say, "oh try to go to the gym more, read a 1000 page book this year or try to bake more." Blah, Blah, Blah!
I actually am thinking about going back to school and trying to take a few classes about being a professional photographer. I don't want a new career, but my second love besides my family is taking photos. I'm always studying photos and trying to learn how to take a similar shot of styles I like in books or magazines. So maybe that should be my New Years Resolution? See I have to talk this out in my head sometimes to figure it all out. I don't want to call a friend and have this silly conversation because it's a waste of time, but I've been thinking about it today and just wanted to figure it all out.
So when someone asks me on New Years Eve at the party we are going to, I'll say the easy answer and say, "take some photography classes," but my real truth is to stop feeling like I have to prove myself to my family and friends, I need to have faith that they love me no matter what! This way I won't scare anyone off. :)
